February 18, 2014

Romy et la layette de son papa.

This is really sweet. Xavier wore this 'layette' almost 38 years ago when he was born. His mother, the very attentive and meticulous person that she is, saved the handmade piece and gave it to Xavier for his babies.

Our friend Meredith noticed the Romy looks a bit like a strong man in the circus in this one. Very true. Romy is a sweet soul - she is peaceful and her gaze is sincere and less frantic than Colette's was.

I am having such a different experience as a mother with Romy than I did with Colette. Colette was a revelation - a complete life altering entrance. She competed with everything else - and won. Romy, just by the nature of things, is different for me. Colette has been breaking my heart with her all-out tantrums - her rage (I had no idea a 2-year old could shake so furiously), her reaction to the changes in our house. I feel like I am betraying her by holding and feeding Romy continuously and then I look down at this little soul, Romy, and feel inadequate for her. Colette's response to Romy can just be a long, shrill wail - 'NOOOO' - as in, no!, how can you keep doing this to me? I believe in my brain that it is good for Colette and she will love her sister - just hard to live with my gut. I've also been somewhat obsessed about finding time for myself - I have a bad case of overstimulation - of constant contact. I flee from the house when I get the chance and love the feeling of empty arms, empty belly. Ungrateful? Maybe. Perspective is useful though. I think I will be a more balanced mother in my relationship to Romy - and Colette.


Brad said...

Priceless! What a treasure. Is there a photo of X in the layette?

Marnie said...

I don't think you sound ungrateful. If time alone is what you need for your sanity (which I totally understand), then take it when you can get it. Having a second child is unavoidably different to the first. With the first you have time and you can take everything at their pace, but with two children it is a bit of a juggling act. I'm sure Colette will come around. Very cute layette, too.

Jill said...

I remember that strange experience of feeling totally consumed by my love for my children and my desire to care for them, and wanting desperately to run away from that feeling of consumption. I still feel that way sometimes. Crazy stuff!

Love the outfit. Thank goodness Mama X saved it.

Ming said...

You do not sound ungrateful, you sound like the mother of two children; one newborn the other a toddler. Don't be so hard on yourself and remember, the only way you can be at the top of your game is to take care of yourself. So those quick runs to be alone, get time with yourself, etc... an essential part of being the best you can be.

Love the layette set, so sentimental and full of love.

Your daughters are beautiful and you're doing a great job, even with all this weather keeping you inside. Trust me, you will love it in the springtime when you can get out to the park and take in the sunshine. Until then, take all the little escapes you can.


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