⪧ We left our life in New York City to make a new one in Provence ⪦

May 16, 2014

Going back to work.



I never expected the cure for my frantic, guilt-ridden form of motherhood to be more motherhood. I am really cool now. Two babies and I caught my breath. Maybe it is just Romy. (She is marvelous, otherworldly, angelic).

I went back to work last week. I ride the subway home with a calm heart - contained in my chest, listening to my NPR podcasts, wondering about the people around me. No frenzy. No self-condemnation when the train is held between stations. Just hush.

This birth revealed that every birth is totally different. My experience with Colette felt so universal - like all mothers in the world must know their baby in this unique way. And then I had a second baby and I know her very differently and she seems to need me differently. I feel freer in the experience and more entangled because there are two. It is a lovely incongruity. Bless you, little Romy, sweet soul.

6 comments:

PeregrineBlue said...

You write so so well too. I love your photography; I think that is what brought me here in the first place, but your stories of family life are what really grabbed me.

Holly said...

Emile - I love your insights on motherhoos and appreciate your candor. Your words evoke so many memories of motherhood for me - both precious and bittersweet. I am proud of you!!

Beks said...

I am just obsessed with her ems! She is the best!

Rosie said...

Well said! Can we ever be all we want to be for those we love so dearly? Probably not in this life . . . Thankfully we are given to love and are compelled to a love beyond understanding.

Beautiful Romy I would love to know what you are thinking! I also long to hold you and kiss those cheeks!

Julie said...

Love this Em. Missing you.

Xtreme English said...

it's your whole family that shines in this blog, despite the fabulous photos of Xavier and you and Colette and Romy and Marquerite and Steven and John and Julie and Becca and Marie and Rosie and Brad. I'm sure I've left out at least half a dozen, but you are all enchanting!! Can't get enough of you!!

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