⪧ We left our life in New York City to make a new one in Provence ⪦

November 6, 2011

Bang, bang. Shot me down.

I'm currently heavily into headbands. Thick ones.

Please note, this post is humorous. That is why I'm writing it. It is funny because hair grows back. It is also funny because out of all things that matter, hair isn't really one.

I went to get a haircut this weekend. Nothing major. A trim, shorten up the bangs a bit - that sort of thing. The back 3/4 of my head were cut nicely - the nice gentleman layered appropriately, nothing too short or cut with thinning shears. Then he got to the front of my head. He parted my hair and placed the section he wanted to cut shorter as bangs in front.

Then he moved in front - of me. In front of the mirror. What came off of my head seemed out of the ordinary - long and a lot. When he moved aside I looked in the mirror and immediately started to cry. He looked at me, back in the mirror, at me, back in the mirror and sort of fumbled with his tools, coming back at me for another go. There was nothing left to cut. The bangs he left me with were not even 1 inch long (too short to even clip back with a bobby pin). They almost stood straight out from my head. I was reminded of my haircut at 4 or 5 years old when I took the pair of scissors and put them almost directly against my head to make the cut. He was sort of shaking when he left me sitting there with other ladies in chairs around me, saying things like "poor girl" and "oh no."

The owner of the salon came over, brought me a box of tissues and said straight out, "of course you won't be paying for this cut," and then apologized profusely. She asked me to move to a different chair - what seemed like a totally futile action at that point. I sat there and just kept staring with big, round, teary eyes at the strange line of hair across the very top of my forehead. I couldn't understand. When the top stylist came to the rescue, I just asked her how anyone could cut hair like that? At first I think she tried to find an answer to defend her colleague, and then she could only come up with, "You're just going to have to let it grow - probably by Christmas you'll look better. Bangs grow fast." She showed me a few comb-overs with the longer hair from behind. I just stood up at some point and thanked her for the attempt.

On my way out, the owner lunged up the stairs after me to let me know that I "could come in every morning to have the bangs styled." I think she knew I would never go back there (it was an Aveda salon!). I was embarrassed to get on the subway. At home I looked in the mirror and my forehead and realized it was very comical. I look absurd and I am not about to explain the situation to everyone I see. Therefore, I will wear it like it was meant to be so.

I guess hipsters have bangs this short (too bad I work in a very formal, major financial institution - the kind hipsters generally avoid and camp out on Wall Street protesting). Scarecrows have bangs this short (similar concerns - I think they're down there too). Xavier came home and told me I looked medieval. I guess he would know better than most. He was cackling in between his attempts to comfort me. Xavier made comparisons with other occupations, telling me this hairdresser did his job like a pilot who crashes his plane.


State of shock. I'm sure I'll wake up and feel much better about the situation.

14 comments:

Jill said...

I don't even know what to say? It really is tragic and so funny all at the same time. May your hair grow speedily!

Look on the bright side...for Christmas you can sing, "All I want for Christmas is my hair grown back, my hair grown back, oh my hair grown back."

Tina Steele Lindsey said...

Believe me, I've had worse, not that it will make you feel better knowing, but I did. In a few days you will start to see length beginning in your bangs due prenatal vitamins, your hair will just grow so fast; in a week you will look like Audrey Hepburn, only better. Chin up,

Lillie said...

The worst haircut of my life was from a very cool hipster guy. He gave me a haircut that in no way suited my hair or my face, I still shudder! I think men just approach styling differently...Now I have a policy of female only hairdressers, so far so good :)

Rosie said...

My beautiful Emilie . . . your beauty shines from inside out! I am glad you have a sense of humor. I had a similar experience right before my sister's wedding and I remember crying every time I looked in the mirror for several days. But looking back I was way to worried about what people think! Thanks heavens you didn't loose your hair from a cancer treatment! Love to you.

Rin said...

You have the best attitude of anyone I have ever met! I would have cried too. Most girls would have...see below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUCLtTg6Mh4

Aralena said...

Emilie, they show off your striking eyes. I mean it. And, w/ the raging pregs hormones, your hair is going to grow so fast, you'll be missing your medieval bangs. ;)

I completely empathize. Once had someone cut my hair so badly that a bartender told me "somebody really $%^&ed you up." Merci! (that was in Paris, by the way.)

Lacey Bediz said...

That SUX! But, at least you have got a adorable round belly-- you actually probably look really cute! A pregnant Amelie! I always have the opposite problem, I try to get a trendy haircut and they just won't do it. Often I where an outfit that I feel would match my haircut that I want, so there is no confusion on my style!

erin said...

oh dear i can't stop laughing. is that an inappropriate reaction? i'm so sorry, the lady was right though, bangs do out quickly... i just gave birth to our thrid child so i can only imagine how the hormones must be mixing with the hair cut. i'm glad you're laughing at it, bc you're right, hair grows. if it's any consolation i had bangs cut two years ago at the stylists suggestion and after he cut them, he looked at me, made a frowny face and said "oh, i didn't notice you had a cowlick right there". needless to say it was not a good look but it did grow out quickly!

PeregrineBlue said...

oh no! this happened to me once right after i had my daughter. i had long hair down to my waist and she would pull on it when i was changing her so i decided it was time for a more-modern-less-hippie hairstyle and ventured to what they call a SALON. i was with my back to the mirror most of the time so didn't know what was happening. when the stylist turned me around i had a mia farrow, literally. i was shocked. wih a bit of gel i was able to make it look a bit better until it started to grow out. thankfully, hair grows fast.

your new do looks beautiful with a headband.

warm regards, constanza

Andrea said...

ARGH! OUCH! That is the WORST! I so feel your pain. What was the stylist thinking? Yes, there are a lot more important things in life but for women, hair is tremendously important to us.

But, on the bright side, it makes for GREAT blog material. You are rockin' that head band!

D1Warbler said...

It could always be worse.

Children (like you -- when you were little) can do the most amazing things with scissors and hair. A friend's daughter cut her sister's long (waist length) hair off at the elastics of her pigtails. There was NO way to make that look better, trust me!

Our oldest cut her bangs off at the scalp the day before Jim's sister's wedding -- for which she was a flower girl.

Fortunately, you don't wear your hair in pigtails, so this guy couldn't do that much damage, and even your bangs are longer than Cheri's were when she got through with them!

Also -- you look very chic with a headband!

Xtreme English said...

medieval, yes. still beautiful, yes. i agree on the gender of the haircutters. if possible, try to get not only female but latina. i got a perm once in iowa, and when i put my glasses on afterwards, i looked just like Sister Immaculata, my (former) novice mistress. I couldn't stop LAUGHING. I laughed all the way out the door. next time I called to get a haircut, or something, they said they were "busy." I think THEY were offended.

Rebekah V. said...

This post was timely. I just recently endured a horrendous staph infection of a painful abscess just off center of the crown of my head. Adding insult to injury after it healed all of the hair fell out where the wound had been. So now I have a lady comb-over with no guarantee that it will ever grow back. Hair club for women? Anyway, your levity and humor have given me a bit of perspective about my own hair anxiety. I wish you quick regrowth and ask that you add to your nightly prayers that no stiff breezes come up when I am outside.

Emilie said...

Bekah! Can't believe that! Your beauty is such that nothing will deny it though. When are you coming to the city? I would love to see you. Plan a weekend up here - Stephen, Xavier and I will eat you up.

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