Wednesday, December 16, 2009
My world is about the be disassembled. The books on our shelves are coming down one by one, the red ones, the black ones, the green ones. My red, white, pink, yellow and orange ranunculus perched on the stool will die an early death. Sunglasses, socks, shelves, chairs, pictures, clocks, vases, spoons, our bed. Everything will be taken tomorrow through our windows on a crane, down the 5 stories of the building, onto the street, into a truck, to a port where a big container awaits, across the ocean to the port in New York, onto another truck, to our apartment on 73rd Street in Manhattan (4-6 weeks later).
I am sad. I am sad because I really love France. It was not always so (you know if you've read me for a while now). There were days where I just wanted to be somewhere else. Those days make leaving even harder now.
Redemption for me lies in the fact that this is only round one. France is to be a permanent fixture in my life - which is a very lucky and lovely and difficult thing all at the same time.
I feel like this round in France was my brainstorming session. I mean, before I came to Paris I never took photos. Today, it is my favorite thing to do (this site is my witness).
Before I came to Paris, I thought blogs were inane, narcissistic distractions. (The narcissistic bit may hold true...and the distraction bit too, but cancel the first thing). Here I am with this site where people from 65 different countries and 1,000 people per week come to have a look. Even if I have not succeeded in inciting an ongoing conversation (apart from the post about my Afghan friends), I am connected to people who read this.
Most of all, my brainstorming session has resulted in me looking at the world in a different way. I swear, Paris has changed me in my regard for the things around me - in what I remark, respect, scan, scrutinize, see, spy, stare at, take into consideration - I am a girl with a new pair of eyeballs.
Now, let's see how New York looks with these babies.