February 18, 2014
Romy et la layette de son papa.
This is really sweet. Xavier wore this 'layette' almost 38 years ago when he was born. His mother, the very attentive and meticulous person that she is, saved the handmade piece and gave it to Xavier for his babies.
Our friend Meredith noticed the Romy looks a bit like a strong man in the circus in this one. Very true. Romy is a sweet soul - she is peaceful and her gaze is sincere and less frantic than Colette's was.
I am having such a different experience as a mother with Romy than I did with Colette. Colette was a revelation - a complete life altering entrance. She competed with everything else - and won. Romy, just by the nature of things, is different for me. Colette has been breaking my heart with her all-out tantrums - her rage (I had no idea a 2-year old could shake so furiously), her reaction to the changes in our house. I feel like I am betraying her by holding and feeding Romy continuously and then I look down at this little soul, Romy, and feel inadequate for her. Colette's response to Romy can just be a long, shrill wail - 'NOOOO' - as in, no!, how can you keep doing this to me? I believe in my brain that it is good for Colette and she will love her sister - just hard to live with my gut. I've also been somewhat obsessed about finding time for myself - I have a bad case of overstimulation - of constant contact. I flee from the house when I get the chance and love the feeling of empty arms, empty belly. Ungrateful? Maybe. Perspective is useful though. I think I will be a more balanced mother in my relationship to Romy - and Colette.